In the World

I have just been watching way to much The O.C. lately. I got the entire series for Christmas and I just now finished it. My grandpa passed away and I guess watching it has been my way of coping. It is something to just watch movie and get lost in them. You don't have to think about your life and you get just drift away. I have been thinking about that lately. Now I am not going all suicidal or anything, but to just drift away. The thoughts "When is my real life going to start." Keep coming to my mind. There is entire world out there that I have never experience and I keep wondering what am I afraid of. I know that somewhere out there I can start something and be something but the actual doing of that scares the heck out of me.